Heavy Street

Every Winger fan worth an ounce knows that Kip was a ballet dancer in his younger years. Watching Kip in this video for “Seventeen”, I don’t understand how one could not be truly inspired by the dance moves of the glam rock king. The man juggled a lot of responsibilities as he sang with a head set, played bass, smiled, and danced at the same time. Bono couldn’t pull this shit off if he tried. Kip even gave Paul Stanley a run for his money in the hairy chest department.

Watching this video for the politically tinged track “Seventeen”, I cant help but wonder if Winger were a band way ahead of their time. That is the only reason I can think of as to why they never became a house hold name like a Trixter, or Firehouse.

Some say this is pure Grade A Cheese at it’s finest. I say it’s gold.

There has been a lot of talk lately about the new M.I.A. video being all offensive, disturbing , and thought provoking….maybe, but I found the real deal in the department of shocking the senses. Twisted Sister put out a video for their song “Hot Love” off their amazing, under-rated Love Is For Suckers album back in the late 80′s, and man is it desensitizing. Many heavy metal historians feel Twisted Sister was just a cheesy, hard rock 80′s band with nothing to say. Obviously they haven’t seen this video.

The socio-political commentary relayed on “Hot Love” is something that Bono, and Chris Martin only wish they could touch upon. Way before Bono was doing world tours visiting Prime Ministers, Dee Snider was in the White House, saving the world from the dreaded PMRC (you youngins need to wiki that shit). This video also moved the women’s movement forward about twenty steps, way more than any radical feminists like Carol Hanisch or Chela Sandoval could ever dream of. Don’t believe me, well see for yourself….

This for me is like choosing my favorite child, as part of my youth was spent blasting pretty much every 80′s hard rock band from my ghetto blaster…er….boom box. So after many sleepless nights thinking about this list, I give you my top ten 80′s hard rock albums:

1.) Vain – No Respect: This band, and album was like the hidden gem of the 80′s hard rock scene. Vain took the image of the New York Dolls and the punchiness of Hanoi Rocks and spit it out, in the most infectious tunes ever put on record. This band had it all, the image, songs, and one of the most amazing voices of glam rock, Davy Vain. After No Respect, their record label went under, as the second album All Those Strangers was finished, and about to be released. Too bad, as with a little bit of luck, these San Fran glam rockers coulda’ been huge.

There was a period in time long ago when Ratt ruled the world. Where Robbin Crosby was the “king” and Stephen Pearcy made Tiger Woods look like a boy scout. Seems like a long bygone era now. A period where bands like Motley Crue and Ratt were perched up top on the 80′s hard rock throne. Now both bands are just a shadow of their primed past.

Like a perfectly aged wine, Nitro’s video for their song “Freight Train” just gets better with time. For those of you who haven’t seen it, you can thank or strangle me later. The video was released around 1988 and no other band has since touched this musical visual masterpiece. Jack White only wishes he could come up with these riffs and this idea.

The vocals of Jim Gillette pierced my tender ears the first time I heard this, as those high pitched screams could shatter glass. In regards to the guitars….. Yngwie Malmsteen never produced this quality of high end cheese like Michael Angelo. Can you imagine the guitar player from Radiohead or Coldplay getting away with this shit?!?!….I think not. If you wanna argue with me, what other respectable guitar player in the last twenty years had the balls to play with a four neck guitar on stage like Mr Angelo.

As corny and over the top this stuff is, I miss the days where bands could create this type of work, get away with it AND be taken seriously. This video was Nitro’s small shining moment (we wont talk about their horrendous cover of Cat Scratch Fever), as it was shown a few times on MTV’s Headbanger’s Ball & MuchMusics’s Power Hour. Nitro didn’t really play live on any major tours back then, during the two albums they put out.

The band’s musical history might have been forgotten, but this video will live on forever. If you talk to any self respecting 80′s metalhead, he/she will know who Nitro was because of this video, and for those youngins out there….go to bed knowing that the musicians of the 80′s invented pure grade A cheese and the indie rock and emo bands of today as MC Hammer would say “just cant touch this”. Aqua Net & Cowboy boots fo’ life y’all!!!

Dont know how much of a truth there is to this, but Scorpions & Ratt may be doing a US tour this summer. Yee-hah!!!! if this is fact. This tour will sell out arenas all across US & Canada, as both bands are more popular now then they were in the early nineties when the bottom fell out from the hard rock scene.

Man, I cannot believe it took Rocklahoma three years to turn to shit. New promotors have taken over and  took the heart n soul out of this glam fest. The festivals original idea was to be a homage to the 80′s glam bands and instead has turned into another  stale Cruefest pile of dogshit. They are trying to reach a broad market and instead will please none.

I can understand a band like Buckcherry thrown in, as they have the 80′s sleaze hard rock sound that the original Rocklahoma fans would eat up, but what on earth do Godsmack and Theory of A Deadman (both of whom are as bland as they come) bring to the mix. Where the hell are the Scorpions and Whitesnake on this years line up!

What was supposed to be a pilgirmage for every 80′s hard rock fan around the world has turned into something that 80′s fans will want to stay away from at all costs. Oh well…..at least we have the much better Midwest Rockfest that can take its place.

Back in the summer of 1987 two albums came out the same time. One was by Guns N Roses called Appetite For Destruction and the other by Faster Pussycat which was self titled. Appetite ended up selling 10 million records while Faster Pussycat ended up selling 500,000. Aside from the difference in sales, Faster Pussycat in terms of influence on the late 80′s hard rock scene was just as relevant as GNR’s was. Both bands also came out of the same Hollywood, California scene.