Heavy Street

There comes an album once in a life time that is so inoffensive, so sappy, so cheesy, so insulting to the intelligence, that one has to bow to its alter. No its not Slippery When Wet, or Final Countdown, or the whole 80′s KISS catalogue……its Alice Coopers most humiliating moment called Constrictor. This record my freinds epitomises pure grade A, 80′s glam rock cheese at its finest. Jon Bon only wishes he could write this limp wristed.

There was a period in time long ago when Ratt ruled the world. Where Robbin Crosby was the “king” and Stephen Pearcy made Tiger Woods look like a boy scout. Seems like a long bygone era now. A period where bands like Motley Crue and Ratt were perched up top on the 80′s hard rock throne. Now both bands are just a shadow of their primed past.

The first time I heard of Type O Negative was when I saw the “Black No.1″ video back in 1993 on the MuchMusic Power Hour. I had never seen anything like it at the time. The video was dark, and ominous, but had a fun vibe to it at the same time. It was probably the best video which came out that year. What struck me the most about this visual piece, was the lead singer / bass player Peter Steele. He looked like a gargantuan seven foot tall vampire. After seeing the video, I decided to pick up the Bloody Kisses album, and completely fell in love with Type O’s brand of gothic tinged metal. Type O Negative’s music didn’t sound like anything I had heard before at the time. It was like a head on collision of The Sisters Of Mercy and Black Sabbath.

Let’s face it, the nu-metal / rap rock movement of the nineties produced a lot of dreck (remember Primer55?), and most metal heads ended up throwing the baby out with the bath water on that scene. Great bands like Stuck Mojo, hed p.e., and Downset got lumped in the nu metal movement, and never fully recovered because of it. Funny, cause these bands wiped the arse of most of their peers from the nineties.

Straight outta Detroit, these hardcore straight edge bullies are full of piss n vinegar. This is by far the most pissed off release I’ve heard Eulogy Records put out. Over The Influence is meat and potatoes thugcore made for any Hatebreed, Blood Stands Still, Terror fans who can’t get enough of the beatings.

Attention ghetto children, the almighty Rastafarian legend himself H.R. has come to claim his spot in all things P.M.A. This is the type of record I have been waiting for Bad Brains to release since Quickness, but it never happened with that band, and had to take H.R to do it on his own. Hey Wella seems to be a more inspired affair than God Of Love, and Build A Nation. The mad genius H.R. takes everything that was beautiful about early Bad Brains, and brings it to the table here. The man still has that special “it” thirty years later, as H.R.’s soulful voice (never used to it’s full ability in the late Brains catalogue) shines throughout the whole record.

Cant blame these much loved Germans for trying. While this album wont fully erase the bad aftertaste of the last four albums the Scorpions have released since 1996 (with the exception of a few solid tracks off of Humanity: Hour 1), Sting In The Tail can be considered as coming full circle in the style of hard rock the Scorps were known for through out the eighties.

Call this working mans lunchbox hardcore if you will. Recipe….mix one part Urban Discipline era Biohazard with equal amounts Seasons In The Abyss Slayer and voila! You don’t hear much of this out there these days. While other hc bands right now are too busy putting as many breakdowns as they can in their music, these guys are actually trying to write good songs.

Man this one hit me like a brick when I first heard it. This is one of the most blasphemous, evil, vile, old school black metal records I have heard in a long time. There is an eerie, haunting vibe through the whole thirty minutes of this record that never washes away from you.

Hard to believe it’s now been ten years since Finntroll has been beating us vikings over the head with their brand of Finnish polka metal. My first foray into this mighty musical pirate ship started when my best friend introduced me to their second album Jaktens tid. At first I hated their brand of polka metal, what with the fiddles, accordions, and all, but over time Finntroll’s sound grew on me. Now I just cant get enough of the oompah blackness that these merry men create.