Archive for June, 2010

Metal up your pyramid scheme……

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Tom Vu is the original OG Thrash gangsta, as you will soon find after watching these videos. If you weren’t around in the early 90′s, then you failed to witness Mr. Vu’s awesome infomercial schemes on how to get rich quick. You’re probably saying to yourself “hey jackass, I’ve seen plenty of late night real estate, investment infomercials”. Trust me, you ain’t seen them as legit as this.

Now, what has Tom Vu got to do with all that is metal??  Well, with all the false posers out there claiming to be “true”, Mr. Vu is the Manowar of the pyramid schemes. Up and coming metal bands could look at this, and tell themselves “If I truly apply myself, I too can one day open up for Disturbed, or Avenged Sevenfold”. Think of these as the greatest motivational videos a young metalcore, deathcore, or screamo band can learn from. So grab a pen, pad of paper, and get ready to take notes. Class is in session.


Alcest – Ecailles De June

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Alcest – Ecailles De June

The almighty shoegaze scene is back with a vengeance. Only this time it’s armed to the teeth with loud guitars, and the noise aint coming from Britain. Alcest is a two piece band from France. The members being Neige (Bass, vocals, drums, guitars), and Winster (drums). Together, they incorporate a heavy, black wall of beautiful melancholy noise. Think of it as Burzum, and Gallhammer showing up for tea at My Boody Valentine’s house, and Curve end up crashing the party. You sorta get the idea right?


Sunset Strip and the summer of 83….

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My love for the first five Motley Crue albums will never die. I’ll sometimes meet other Crue fans at the local health food store, and they act all surprised when I tell them my favorite song by the original Hollywood bad boys is “Run For Your Life”. This song was never released on any of their albums. It was one on the many songs that were recorded during the Shout At The Devil sessions, but never made it on the album.

I actually remember the Shout At The Devil bootleg demo cassette that was being sold for $25 back in 1988 at the local metal import music store called The Attic in Calgary (favorite hangout in my teens). I didn’t have enough money to buy it. So many years later the dj at this FM metal station played “Run For Your Life”, and I fell in love with the song right there. Why the Crue never released it officially, I will never know. They put out a box set a few years ago, and one of the discs had some demo tracks from the SATD sessions, but this song for whatever was not included.

“Run For Your Life”  is a heavy, sleazy, dirty gem that would have fit perfectly on Theatre Of Pain between “Louder Then Hell” and “Fight For Your Rights”. I wish Motley Crue would put out a disc with all of their demos from Too Fast For Love all the way through Dr. Feelgood. There are enough unreleased demo tracks from the 1981-1989 era that would fill up two albums. “Run For Your Life” is vintage Crue, and a good representation of the 80′s hard rock as a whole.


Akon, Napalm Death, and a pomegranate…..

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It took me awhile, but I finally found out where David Guetta took the beat for “Sexy Bitch”. From none other than the lovable lads of England, Napalm Death! Now, there may not be a stark resemblance in the song vocal wise between Akon, and Barney Greenway, but the backbeat is similar. Maybe I just ate a bad plate of mussels in pomegranate sauce, or I’m spot on with this.

Its nice to see the house dj’s of today roaming the valleys of death metal for inspiration. I hope this becomes the norm. As for Akon, I’m still waiting for him to do guest vocals on the next Cephalic Carnage album. One can only wish. Anyways, both tracks are off the hizzle.


Last night I had a happy dream…

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I dreamt that the original Cro-Mags put their petty differences aside, and reunited for a new album, and a world tour. John Joseph, Harley Flanagan, Mackie , Kevin Mayhew, and Doug Holland were the original furious five from the streets of old New York. Together, they created of one the most ferocious hardcore releases that has yet to be touched…..The Age Of Quarrel. Twenty five years later, and it still sounds potent as it did back then.

The deep rooted animosity between John, Harley, and Kevin runs deep. These dudes still hold grudges to this day, judging by some words that have been said in the media over the last few years. Harley has his Harley’s War band that plays shows around the East Coast every so often, while John and Mackie tour world wide as the Cro Mags. I think John and Mackie’s version of the Cro Mags that’s out there touring right now, is the only one we will see in the future. It’s too bad. If David Lee Roth and Eddie Van Halen….or better yet if Gary Cherone, and Nuno Bettencourt can put aside their differences, why cant John and Harley?

I guess if John’s version is what we get, I will take it. John Joseph is still one of the best frontmen in any genre out there. The man sings, and performs better then he did back then. Same goes with Mackie, as he still has that same intensity on the drums that made Age Of Quarrel such a ferocious mess. Time has also been on their side, as both of these hardcore heroes look younger, and healthier then they did twenty years ago. I have seen some of their performances from last year, and they kick the shit out of most of the younger bands half their age.

As for the reunion? It was still a nice dream.


The call of metal summons us tonight….

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I was passing my way through some snow tipped mountains, and decided I haven’t listened to some Rhapsody in a while. Not a huge fan of the symphonic power metal, but I have a soft spot for Rhapsody. These Italian warriors galloping across the vast heavy metal plains will not hesitate to go into battle, and fight for what is right.

When my wife leaves the house, I blast up the Rhaps, get on top of the couch, pretend I’m standing on top of an icy cold mountain with my sword, and proclaim victory against the forces of evil. Other times I just pretend my Chihuahua is a dragon, and I try to tame him. That’s how this song makes me feel.


Great White and seniors discounts….

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I used to be a fan of Great White during Jack Russel’s golden years (1986-1991). Now its a whole other story, as playings arenas, and platinum selling albums are just a distant memory for this wild bunch. The spandex, hair, leather jackets, cowboy boots, plush tour buses are all gone. They’ve been traded in for bellys’s that flop over the belt, bald spots, and mustaches. My how the glam world has changed.

For some strange reason, all these 80′s rock bands have found the need to keep doing it till the wheels fall off. It’s something you don’t see in a lot of other genres. Sure, you might see an old hip-hop, or grunge band from the 90′s doing the odd one off festival show, but not full on tours, or releasing mediocre albums year after year, with only a handful of the original members remaining. I say it’s great if you can go out with all the original members, and play with the same intensity you did way back, but when you put on performances like the one you are about to see, you have to ask yourself “is it about time to call it a day?”

To me 80′s glam bands bands are like The Simpsons of the hard rock world. They don’t know when to hang it up, and just keep beating a dead horse. They remind me of that one house guest at a party, that doesn’t know when to leave. There should be more bands following Jerry Seinfeld’s lead. Jerry decided to end Seinfeld on a high note, rather then milk the show for another ten years. Total class.

Its sad to see a once fine institution reduced to a laughing stock, as you will see in this video on the 2:12 minute mark. The sound quality is garbage, but the footage is brilliant.


Viva le Rocky Dennis…..

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I watched Mask for the 20th time on television a few days ago. I cried as usual. My blood boils every time I watch the scene when the love of Rocky’s life Diana, waits for her parents to pick her up from camp. When her parents drive up, they looks at Rocky with total coldness. Poor lil’ Rocky. I wanna tie up those two douche bags parents, and make them listen to the whole Dream Theater catalogue. I know, I went too far. I guess no one deserves the abuse of listening to James LaBrie’s high falsettos for any more than a couple of seconds.

The film delved into some of Rocky’s hobbies, like motorcycles, and baseball cards, but failed to inform the viewers of the mans musical tastes. I think Rocky was a metalhead myself. I stayed up last night thinking of what Rocky’s answer would be, if you asked him about his five desert island albums. I think this would be his answer:

Venom – At War With Satan
Celtic Frost – Into The Pandemonium
Trixter – Self Titled
Blind Guardian – Tales From The Twilight World
Yngwie Malmsteen – Rising Force


The Big Four is a big waste…..

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With Metallica, Slayer, Megadeth, and Anthrax doing some festival dates in Europe right now, it got me thinking. Why in the bloody hell are fans wasting their hard earned dollars to see this shit. Megadeth without Chris Poland or Marty Freidman, and Anthrax milking the Joey Belladonna era without Dan Spitz. I dunno…..just seems a lil’ bittersweet, and a quick money grab to me. I guess if people are that hell bent on hearing all their favorite hits from the top four thrash bands from the 80′s in one sitting, then it’s all worth it. For me, I would much rather see a “big four” tour of today’s thrash breed.

I still think a Thrash tour of Municipal Waste, Bonded By Blood, Warbringer, and Toxic Holocaust would be a hot bill. Obviously, not the same level of the 80′s big four, but those bands wont be able to tour forever, and as the final curtain call comes-a-callin’ for them, we need to support the new generation of shit kickers. Oh well, at least I still have my ticket for the Exodus / Bonded By Blood show coming up in August, so screw Sonicsphere.

All the beef in the past with Dave Mustaine, and Lars Ulrich that has transpired, and now they are doing these festivals together. The tender feelings I get thinking of those two sharing the same stage together,  just makes me want to crank up this oh-so awesome song.


The ultimate workout video….

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I’m not sure why this video reminds me so much of those hardcore kids I see at shows these days doing their windmills, and spin kicks. This workout video by the Ultimate Warrior just seems to fit them. Instead of buying that xtra large black hoodie at the merch booth, they can invest in something more worth while.

So next time you’re at a Terror, First Blood, Donnybrook, or Marauder show, and you see three dudes up front kicking the shit out of that one 16 year old who just came to watch his favorite band perform, let them know that the Warrior Workout video will make them even stronger.

To me all the tough guy rants that hardcore bands do on stage in between songs, was already done by the Ultimate Warrior. This former WWF Heavyweight Champion, is the original hardcore tough guy. I mean, just listen to the man spread the gospel! I would love to see Roger Miret of Agnostic Front recreate this speech on stage in between performing “Victim In Pain” and “Blind Justice”….